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Has pornography ripped through your house like an unexpected tornado? Has it broken your family in two? Are you still trying to pick up the pieces and wonder what went wrong?
John & Lisa's marriage was almost destroyed by pornography. But through sharing, prayer, and the powerful Word of God they found the truth and freedom and God miraculously set them free!
She Said, He Said, God Says will give couples an inside look at John and Lisa's personal experience, struggles, feelings, fears, and the Biblical insight they found that saved their marriage. Each chapter has a short working it out section that deals with the topic so that couples can talk about this tender area that is destroying so many marriages.
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She Said, He Said, Gods SAYS
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She said, “How could you do something like this?”
He said, “I don’t know. I can’t believe it either.”
God says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Rom. 3:23 NIV)
I sat stunned, as the illicit image appeared before my eyes. Feeling my blood pressure soar to an all time high, my face burned as I lifted myself from my chair. Charging for the bedroom, I stared at my husband, John, who appeared to be sleeping peacefully.
“How could you?” I accused, shaking his arm to wake him.
He sat straight up. “What? What?”
“Yeah, right, you know darn well, what!”
With wide innocent eyes, he pleaded, “Honey, no I don’t know. Please tell me.”
Storming out to the living room, I raged, “Come here!” Pointing to the nude picture on the monitor screen, I screamed insanely, “This is what!”
John tried to grab my arm, as usual, and hold me there while he explained, but I violently pulled away and ran around the room, circling the couch to keep him away from me. While screaming accusations, he desperately sought a way to capture me. It seemed like we were playing a grown up game of ring around the rosy. The more he came at me, the faster our circle spun. However, this wasn’t some childish game. Although John had obviously chosen to fall, I was sick of being in the pit. I wanted to climb to new heights with God and thought I had married a godly man—who shared my hopes, my dreams, and my beliefs. But now this!
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He pulled me into his arms. Crying harder than I’d ever seen him, he said, “Oh, Lisa. I messed up. I love you so much. Can you ever forgive me?”
I was speechless. How could I possibly say no? Together we cried, and after a time of sharing we prayed. It was then that I agreed to go with John to talk to our pastor and his wife.
In the meantime I took my usual walk with our Siberian Husky, Scout, to clear my head. This was my daily quiet time with God and my time-out from John and the kids. (Luckily all four of our children were at school when this whole mess broke out, so they hadn’t heard a word about it.)
As I prayed, the blue sky blurred before me, until it seemed as if I was in a different world. My heart ached like a sore tooth, throbbing intensely. I kept thinking, how could he? How could someone say they love me so much and do something so horrible?
God listened to my hearts cry, and when I finished, He began to console me. He seemed to say, “Yes, John did sin. And yes, he did hurt you, but he’s only human.”
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ACTION: Please read together Jonah 1:1-3:3
When things are desperate, our natural inborn instinct is to FIGHT or take FLIGHT. John and I both tried to run from our problems, as Jonah did when God called him to go to Ninevah. But like Jonah, we quickly learned that running never solves anything—in fact it can cause even more problems. Because when we take our eyes off God, it only leads to trouble.
DISCUSS: Where are you headed in your life and in your marriage? Does it seem as though, like Jonah, you’ve been tossed overboard and you’re being devoured by the sin in your life? Are you resisting the plan God has for you and your spouse? If so, spend some time discussing what you think God would have you do differently. Remember, when we keep our sin out of sight, our minds can be used of the Lord.
PRAY: Heavenly Father, please forgive us for not being obedient to the call on our lives. Please remove any sin that could be standing in the way of your work. Help us to keep our eyes on you. Teach us to FIGHT instead of taking FLIGHT and trust in You to carry us through, what seems to be, the impossible times in our marriage. Thank you Lord that just as you turned Jonah’s mission around, you will also turn our problems into PURPOSES! In Jesus name, Amen.